Trust
by patheticbutlovabledemonsidekik
Summary: First fic! She had told him she loved him but she didn't trust him. But that was so long ago... This was different. A little look at the difference between trust dialogue with Bangel and Spuffy.


**DISCLAIMER:**  
>I am not Joss Whedon. Many aspire to be. But I am not. :( Therefore I own nothing.<p>

_"Do you love me?" Angel walked toward her. The answer should have been simple. But she had seen him with that girl... Drusilla. Of course she loved him. She had never loved any man as much. Not even Ford. That love was so powerful that no matter what her doubts, it was there._

_"I love you. But I don't know if I can trust you."_

"We need to talk." He closed the door slightly. Those wods were never a good sign. Especially attatched to his voice. Words meant more than that to him. Giving him the satisfaction of speaking to her was enough to set him into a frenzy. She turned.

"I really don't." Not after Anya. He hadn't just hurt her. He had hurt everyone. Hurt... Why on earth should she feel hurt? It didn't matter. She felt bad for Xander is all. Seeing him with her... It was nothing to her. Just something she didn't need to see.

"This isn't just about you, as much as you'd like it to be." She was so self riteous. what, was he just supposed to listen to everything she said. He wasn't just her slave that she could dismiss. Once upon a time she was a weak little high schooler. He could have killed her numerous times. There was always someone or something in the way is all...

"You spoke. I listened. Now leave." She didn't want to see him. Not now.

"I'm sorry." Sorry. The very idea. What did he have to feel sorry for? Yet the words sounded sincere when they escaped his lips. "Not that it matters now. But I needed you to know that."

"Why?" He didn't owe her anything. He could never feel sorry.

"Because I care about you."

"Then you might want to try not sleeping with my friends." Care about her? He cared that he got caught. That's all. Just another bit of skirt...

"That's not...I didn't go to Anya for that. I was looking for a spell." There it goes. He could tell everything was going to snowball.

"You were going to use a spell on me?" Are you kidding? Her eyes widenned. He was such a pathetic desperate moron. How dare he?

"It wasn't for you. I wanted something." God, she was so... Everything had to be about her.

Oh, he wanted something. Was that supposed to surprise her? All he ever did was want. And he managed to take it.

"Anything to make these feelings stop. I just wanted it to stop!" He felt his eyes get misty. What had happened to him? Why was he so weak? What has happened to the man...the monster...who killed so many people? The ruthless bastard who murdered his own mother, who killed two slayers... What was he excuse? He had been long dead. But now, everything he was when he was dead was gone. What did that leave him with? "You should have let him kill me..."

"I couldn't." Did she feel sorry? She didn't know. How could she feel sorry for him? Why didn't she let Xander kill him. Wouldn't all this be able to end. Could she go back to just killing vampires instead of sleeping with them? Was there ever a time that she did?

"Why?" Just say it. Please just say it. Even empty words would be enough.

"You know why."

_"Do you love me?"_

"Because you love me."

"No. I don't."

_"I love you-_

"Why do you keep lying to yourself?" Why did he keep lying to himself was the real question. It had always been that other man... Angel. Really it boiled down to Angel. Angelus had made him this way. It was his fault. He had taken Drusilla away so many times. What was he supposed to do other than keep making up false delusions and building up anger until it was his fault. That's why she could never love him. She was in love with a man she hadn't seen in nearly three years.

"I'm not saying I don't have feelings for you. I do. But it's not love. I could never trust you enough for it to be love."

_"I love you but I don't trust you."_

**R&R Please!**

**First Fic so no flames... Just was watching "Lie To Me" And saw the dialogue and thought about when she said this in the Seeing Red scene and how it was so contradictory. Hopefully I did a good job exposing it. **


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